Todays blog stems from a question we got through the Ask Swanky form.
I think my boyfriend may have overheard me masturbating in the bath yesterday. Is he going to think I’m weird? He never mentioned it, but I’m kind of worried. – Alicia
Oh god, now what? Is he going to think I’m a freak? Maybe I can lie, and say I had an itch! He is going to break up with me, and tell all his friends what he saw! My life is over! Calm down, it’s fine. You aren’t the only woman in the world to masturbate. However, you may just be the first one he has actually SEEN do it. Today I will reveal a few secrets to you about female masturbation. Believe it or not, we all do it. The exception to the rule, will be found at your local convent. Society has brainwashed women to believe that only boys masturbate. Girls never do, and women most certain do not. The only people who masturbate are some type of perverted sex offender. Masturbation not only is normal, but it’s perfectly healthy! I’m not saying to go to work, and talk about it with your boss, I’m just saying…it’s ok to do!
Myths and misconceptions about female masturbation:
Masturbation will turn you into a sex addict. False. Masturbation can increase your sexual appetite, as well as help keep it in check. If you are feeling that urge over the Tall, Dark, & Handsome sitting alone at the bar, you can either approach him if he hasn’t approached you, or you can go home and write your own fantasy in your head while you pleasure yourself with the thoughts of the night. Either way, you know what you want by the end of the night, and you will get there one way or the other. That does not make you a sex addict. An addiction is defined as something that controls your day-to-day actions and you have to plan your day around. If you get up, go to work, spend time with your friends and/or family throughout the day, then I think you are coping just fine.
Masturbation will make you sterile. Again…false. Your eggs aren’t going to pack up and move out due to masturbation. Masturbation has no effect on the female reproductive system.
None of my friends do it. If NONE of your friends do, I would say at least 1 of your friends aren’t in the business of truth-telling. Studies have shown between 50-90% of women admit to masturbating, either in the past, or continuously. To me that seems like a pretty large spread, leaving a 40% window for who knows what. After running an adult store for many years, then dealing with my online store and blog as well…I would make an educated guess that the actual percentage is probably closer to 80%. I have noticed women that would come into my store would come in, in groups of 3-5 and they were always there encouraging that one friend to buy their first vibrator, while they were buying additions to their collection.
A lot of women masturbate, and a lot of women admit it. Like men, you will always have that group of people who claim they never have and never will. I would put the population of people who NEVER have, somewhere between 2-5%. Whether it be for religious, moral, or psychological reasons. With that in mind, remember masturbation is not only normal..but it can be relaxing, sexy, and fun! Now that’s the cat’s out of the bag, so to speak, maybe it’s time to spice things up a little in the bedroom! Masturbation can be a fun additive to foreplay. It’s exciting seeing something new for the first time!
Masturbation isn’t something to ALWAYS do with your partner. Just a little something extra to spice it up a notch. It is something that can be enjoyed, without worry about being different. It is something that is healthy, natural and becoming more socially acceptable for women.
OK! I’m not weird after all. Should I use a toy?
That is pure preference. Toys add so many different variations of stimulation. Everything from focus on the clit, to internal. We carry hundreds of toys for every preference. A few I would recommend for first time toy users are:
Basic Bullet: I used to sell 50-100 of these a week in store. It is a womans go to guy, so to speak. It is VERY cheap, fairly durable and resistant.
Couture Inspire Wand: This item is similar in design to the ever famous hitachi magic wand. We carried both products in store, and the Inspire was BY far superior in my opinion. It has a superior design, where as it is a lovely piece to look at, vs the plain white of the hitachi. We would sell these as SOON as they hit the shelves. We never had one sit longer than 2 days. It seemed to be more powerful, yet quieter than the hitachi as well.
Waterproof Jack Rabbit: 100% waterproof, for fun in, or out of the water. The playful rabbit with its synchronized rotating metals beads and reversing action has 3 speeds of vibration, 3 speeds of rotation, and one touch activation.
To answer your question Alicia: You should not be worried. If he heard you, it probably excited him to know you were pleasuring yourself, thinking of him (It’s ok to lie a little here). I don’t see it becoming a problem, unless you are withholding sex, in order to masturbate.
Women remember, it’s 2012…it’s ok to masturbate! Have you ever been caught? Did you panic? Did you keep going to trigger a reaction? Tell us your stories in the comments below!