Forced Sex: One form of sexual roleplaying is the rape fantasy, also called ravishment or forced sex roleplay. Ravishment has become a more preferred term in BDSM circles, as it makes a distinction between consensual roleplay and non-consensual assault. Though consensuality is an important component of sexual roleplay, the illusion of non-consensuality (i.e., rape) is important to maintaining the fantasy. Crossing the line may constitute an assault. In consensual ravishment scenes, all participants carefully negotiate what will transpire beforehand. Limits are respected and made very clear, to maintain safe, sane and consensual play. Such negotiation would also include discussion of emotional issues for both partners, especially if there has been a prior history of actual sexual abuse or assault.
Rape: A type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that persons consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or with a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as a person who is unconscious or incapacitated.
Drug use, especially alcohol, is frequently involved in rape. A study (only of rape victims that were female and reachable by phone) reported detailed findings related to tactics. In 47% of such rapes, both the victim and the perpetrator had been drinking. In 17%, only the perpetrator had been. 7% of the time, only the victim had been drinking. Rapes where neither the victim nor the perpetrator had been drinking were 29% of all rapes. Contrary to widespread belief, rape outdoors is rare. Over two-thirds of all rapes occur in someone’s home. 31% occur in the perpetrators’ homes, 27% in the victims’ homes and 10% in homes shared by the victim and perpetrator.
Now that detailed descriptions of each have been posted, most can see the difference. While the idea of Forced Sex isn’t necessarily new, there is a surprising aspect to it. Typically speaking, women fantasize about this more than men. 44.7% of men had fantasies where a seduced woman “pretends resisting” and 33% of raping a woman.(1) In similar research, it was found more than HALF of college age women had participated in some type of rape or coercion fantasy, which falls into the normal range for female sexuality.(2)
Rape is one of the most common violent crimes in the US. Here’s the math. According to the U.S. Department of Justice’s National Crime Victimization Survey –there is an average of 207,754 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year. There are 525,600 minutes in a non-leap year. That makes 31,536,000 seconds/year. So, 31,536,000 divided by 207,754 comes out to 1 sexual assault every 152 seconds, or about 1 every 2.5 minutes.(3)
With these types of numbers, what is it about rape fantasies people find appealing? After asking around and doing a little bit of research online, here is what I am finding out. The fantasy typically (meaning a large percentage, not all-encompassing) stems from:
A Loss of Control/Domination
Fear Intensifies Sex
Taboo
A Loss of Control/Domination
Basically this stems from primal urges. A woman “instinctively” wants a man to take control and be aggressive. Now I’m not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or any other type of psych-word…but to me, this makes sense in a dark sort of way. Thousands of years ago the Alpha male ran his tribe/pack whatever you wish to call it, and took the women he wanted. Women were attracted to the biggest, strongest male, because it shows that if he can dominate the other males, he can protect her, and any future children (This is still semi-practiced in some remote locations, and heavily among animals). While the reasoning has changed in a person’s mind, the primal urges still exist. While the females I spoke with that gave this particular answer, it was usually along the lines of “uhm, yeah I dunno…just something about not being in control”.
Fear Intensifies Sex
“It’s kind of like a roller coaster. You get really scared, then it’s awesome!” Again, kind of like the last answer, there wasn’t really a solid descriptive sentence for it. Imagine if you will: Eyes closed, fist clenched, and pulled up tight, then a small grin emerges. ”It’s just…the fear”.
1 word. Adrenaline.
Adrenaline is released in the body when we are under threat (in anxiety or fear situations). This is known as the ‘fight/flight response’. For example, if we are in a situation we perceive as dangerous, we either need to be able to run (flight) or fight! In order to be able to ‘fight or flight’ adrenaline causes physiological changes, which include increased heart rate, increased respiratory rate, tension in muscles, etc. In a rape fantasy, neither is typically possible due to restraints, or some other means of being forcefully held. So you get that rush of adrenaline that intensifies the current mindset and emotions you are feeling, without having a real outlet for it. Sometimes that can cause even more powerful orgasms, because hey…it’s gotta go somewhere.
Taboo
While a pretty common answer it was definitely well below the top 2, in the grand scheme of things. People like doing shit they aren’t supposed to. Period. While it’s not always Taboo in some cultures, it may be in others. I’m pretty sure rape is a universal taboo however. Just guessing on this one. Some typical taboos to Americans:
1: Incest: The following countries offer a haven of sorts for consensual incest: Russia, India, Japan, Belgium, France, Brazil, Portugal, Holland (Netherlands), Romania, Czech Republic, Hungary, Bulgaria, Israel
2: Polygamy: To be honest it would probably be a shorter list, to list other countries with the US that outlaw this practice.
3: Tattoos: While socially acceptable now, as early as 10 years ago, it was a dark subject.
These are just a few taboo topics. There are thousands of “taboo” subject matters out there, but to be honest…if there isn’t a law against it, it’s probably not hurting anyone. If there is a law against it, it’s either to protect you, or because you are infringing on the governments share of the cake; so to speak. The point here, is to show some differences in levels of “taboo”. While people line up to get tattoos, they probably aren’t lining up to have sex with their sister. It happens and it may be more common than reported, but that’s what makes it taboo. It’s dark, it’s dirty, and it’s your little secret. It’s something you can do, that isn’t hurting anyone else, in a controlled environment. That sounds more like fun than taboo.
While it’s not only women that have rape fantasies, and it’s definitely not always about them being the victim, that was the majority of the information I gathered. Some women have fantasized about forcing men to have sex with them at knife/gun point. Some men admitted to fantasizing about being raped by other men. The fantasies were endless, but this was the side of it that was most prevalent.
The most shocking thing that came from all of this, was finding out that while most of the women who weren’t into it, understood it. There was a very small percentage of women that was appalled by the very thought of it…most of which were 20 and under.
Do you have or have you had a rape fantasy? If so you know what to do. Comment field below.
(1) Men’s erotic fantasies – Crépault C, Couture M
(2) Force in Women’s Sexual Fantasies – Strassberg, Donald
(3) RAINN.org